straight off the starship Ronald Reagan

Angel on one shoulder, devil on the other. Or, colon-spirit on one shoulder, anticolon-spirit on the other.

Colon-spirit: I wanted to thank you for eating all those Grapenuts. I mean, three bowls, like whoa!
Me: Hey, no problem, anytime.
Anticolon-spirit: *poof* What do you listen to that square for? Look at him!
Me: Did you just call him a square? Who says that anymore?
Colon-spirit: I am not a square!
Anticolon: Ignore him. Say, here's a riddle: What lies in a ceramic dish, tastes comforting, and isn't Grape Nuts, which you've already had three bowls of?
Me: Uh...
Anticolon-spirit: It's homemade macaroni and cheese. Let's give it a go just for the hell of it.
Me: Okay. Uh...
Colon-spirit: Hey, uh, I zoned out a bit there... what's this? You've half finished a cup of macaroni and cheese? But you don't even like macaroni and cheese that much! You like Grapenuts.
Me: Uh....